


PRIDE

by LOVERBOY (shikadi)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Bi Hinata Hajime, Canon Compliant, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Gay Komaeda Nagito, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Canon, mlm author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 13:04:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16556300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shikadi/pseuds/LOVERBOY
Summary: Hajime's not at all sure why his thoughts, after turning down a hundred dead ends, always seem to end up back with Nagito.--Nagito's instant attraction to Hajime has a lot of challenges to overcome: Hajime's lack of talent, Nagito's spiralling mental health issues, and every event that has occurred in the last few years.--Both men have something to learn about pride.





	PRIDE

**BEGINNING**

_chapter one: daily life_

Hajime should have gone to bed, but he just couldn't. There was a terrible anxiety gripping him and making his nerves jumpy, forcing him into action. If he knew the people on the island better, he would have turned to them, and had he not been trapped there, he might have turned to the internet or television to calm himself down.

But their gilded cage was surprisingly bereft of distractions. He could only suppose that the ability to keep themselves entertained went against Monokuma's desire for them to be driven to murder.

He didn't think he could ever murder any of the people he'd met so far, even if they pushed him somehow. Did the others feel the same way? Or were they already planning a murder, maybe a specific one?

He wanted to speak to someone, and so far, he only knew one person on this island well, or at least he thought he did.

Opening the door to his room a little, he put his eye to the crack, inspecting the boardwalk. He couldn't see anyone, and he could only hear the soft sound of water lapping.

There was no one around. He opened the door fully and tensed for someone to pop out and break his neck. Nothing happened.

The air was a pleasant temperature, a warm night with just enough of a breeze for the air to feel fresh. He didn't have a jacket on this island and he'd seen no indicators of any new clothes for him, but it didn't feel like he would need one.

He stepped out onto the boardwalk, looked around again, then made his way further down the boys' wing of cottages. He approached Nagito's cottage and knocked on the door.

"Ah, good evening!" piped up a cheery voice from inside.

"Hey, Nagito, how's it going?" Hajime said. He felt hopelessly awkward now he was here. What did he have to say?

"About as well as things could be!" Nagito said. "Would you like to come in? So long as you're not planning to murder me."

"Of course I'm not," Hajime said. "And yes. Please."

The door opened, and Nagito appeared, smiling as always. He'd stripped down to boxers and a t-shirt and Hajime could see that the sheets on his bed had been disturbed.

"Sorry for waking you up," Hajime said.

"Oh, no, I couldn't sleep. I'm glad you came to visit, or I'd be trapped here with my thoughts," Nagito said.

Hajime hovered in the middle of room. He felt overdressed in his pants and shoes but had no desire to strip to match Nagito.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep either," Hajime said.

Nagito sat down on his couch and retrieved his jacket, putting it on his lap to cover his legs.

"Do you think someone is really going to commit murder?" Hajime said.

"Hm, I hope not. It would be so sad to waste the Hope Fragments we've already collected," Nagito said.

"How are you so calm?" Hajime said.

Nagito's smile widened and he gave an easy laugh. "It's simple. All of you on this island, all of you Ultimates, are about the most hopeful group of people that could find themselves here. I have complete faith that eventually, we will win out against the feeling of despair our captors are trying to force upon us."

That made him pause. Both the surprisingly complex answer, like it had been on the tip of his tongue, and the cheery attitude with which he said it.

"But what if someone snaps?" Hajime said.

"Then the rest of us must use that pain to stick closer together and overcome Monokuma's tyranny," Nagito said. "We're not all going to die here, Hajime, not unless we deserve it."

"And we don't," Hajime said.

"Exactly," Nagito said. Another wide smile. "I'm not going to do anything that doesn't help us all."

Hajime relaxed an inch. This guy might be weird, and have an odd way of phrasing things, but he didn't want anything bad to happen either.

"It's a pity all this has gone so wrong. You were just starting to enjoy yourself today," Nagito said.

He thought of how the sun had been shining, before. It had been nice. There were quite a few people on this island he could have been friends with.

He could still be friends with them, he reminded himself. There was nothing stopping them from sticking together; in fact, they should do so even more now.

"You were, too," Hajime said. He thought of Nagito in swimming trunks, laughing in the ocean. "You look like you could use some sun."

"Ah, I'm just naturally this pale. If only I could tan like you," Nagito said.

Hajime laughed and extended his arm towards Nagito's, comparing them. "I don't even get out in the sun that much."

"Neither do I," Nagito said.

That was easy to believe. Even his eyes and hair were pale, which should have been genetic. Although Hajime had a sneaking suspicion that his white hair wasn't something he was born with.

"You can sleep here tonight, if you want to," Nagito said. "I wouldn't like you to be tired tomorrow."

"No, it's okay, I just-" Hajime looked around the room. He imagined himself curled up in bed with Nagito for a second, like they were two kids on a snowy night, then banished the thought. They didn't know each other that well, and it wasn't really appropriate at their age. It would be less lonely, though. "It's fine. I'm not sure why I came here."

"Well, whatever it was, I hope you got it," Nagito said with another smile.

Hajime finally felt himself relax properly. He meant that, didn't he? He could trust this boy, if no one else? Couldn't he?

"So, uh," Hajime said, scrambling for a new conversation topic. He sat on the couch next to Nagito. "When you say you've got luck, does that mean you win the lottery all the time?"

"Yes, if I enter them. But usually it means that in most situations, the least likely thing happens to me," Nagito said. He hesitated for a moment, seemingly searching the room. He eventually decided on a funny bronze coin sitting on the stand behind them. "Imagine what happens when someone like me tries to flip a coin!"

There was a moment's pause and Hajime assumed it meant that Nagito wanted him to grab the coin off the bedside table, so he stretched over to grab it. Nagito moved at the same time and their hands bumped into each other.

"Oh, sorry-" Hajime said, and retreated, while Nagito just laughed and leaned over further, his shirt riding up. Hajime caught a glimpse of his back, smooth and slender, before turning away. "Sorry," he said again, quickly, shuffling back on the couch a little so he could stop harassing his new friend.

Nagito clearly thought nothing of it and sat back down, the coin between his fingers. "Let's see what luck has for us this time."

Hajime had no idea what he expected to happen. The coin to land on its edge, perhaps, as they very rarely did?

Nagito balanced the coin on top of his thumb, then flipped it. He moved his hand to try and catch it, and instead it bounced off his skin, bounced off the stand behind them, and hit the television.

"So? What happened?" Nagito asked.

Hajime leaned a little closer to the television to see that the coin was jammed in a slot in the side of the TV that was apparently perfectly shaped for it. He reached forward and tried to remove it. Despite the ease of its entry, he couldn't get it out. "Wow."

"Ah, how unlikely," Nagito said, then laughed. "And now I'm without that coin. Such terrible luck."

"It had Monokuma's face on it anyway. You probably didn't want it," Hajime said.

"Of course, you're right," Nagito said.

Hajime sat back down. Nagito was smiling at him again, and he felt almost self-conscious under his gaze, and overdressed. That was a strange sensation to have.

His eye caught the moon outside. "Maybe I should get going."

"Yes, it's getting late, although you're welcome to stay here if it helps you sleep. You could have the bed, of course," Nagito said.

"Oh, it's fine," Hajime said. All of a sudden, he really wanted to leave. His heart was beating oddly fast.

"I could walk you back to your room-?" Nagito said.

"No, it's really fine. I'll see you tomorrow," Hajime said, getting to his feet.

"Okay, then. Goodnight, and have a good sleep!" Nagito said, beaming at him as he left the cottage and headed back to his own.

He calmed down when he got back to his own room. Was it fear he'd been feeling? Not really; he wasn't afraid of Nagito, of all the people here. And he thought he'd calmed his anxiety.

He flopped down on his own bed and felt the newly acquired tension ease out of him. It wouldn't be too hard to get to sleep, now.

\--

**MIDDLE**

_chapter three: daily life_

Hajime hated the fact he was constantly being watched on this island. He mentally kept a register of all the places that didn't have security cameras; not consciously, but just in case he ever had the desperate need to actually feel alone for once.

His first night had been marked with too much fear for him to notice the cameras, and after so many more nights he was starting to think that being constantly recorded ranked low on the list of _Awful Shit Happening Right Now._ A camera probably couldn't be used to kill anyone.

Even showering on camera wasn't so bad. It certainly made him work harder to be really clean, just in case this was being broadcast to the world. It would suck for him to escape this nightmare only to be known forever as that guy who didn't bathe properly.

There was exactly one thing he wasn't going to do on camera. Which was fine, because being in this hellhole had, by and large, killed his libido. It hadn't been a problem so far.

Why tonight, exactly? He hadn't figured that one out yet. Peko and Mahiru had died a couple of days ago. But Fuyuhiko was alive, and the third island hadn't been that bad. Nagito was on the loose but apparently not too crazy. Everyone had agreed to behave themselves and there had been no more motives. Yet.

Maybe trying to point the finger at outside sources didn't make much sense. Maybe he was just horny. He was a teenager, so that happened all the time, right? Either way, this was the first time he'd retreated to one of his camera-free locations. He picked the bathroom in the old hotel building, willing to bet that no one came in there since Nagito had been released.

 _Well, now I'm going to come in here,_ he thought, feeling a curious mix of disgust and amusement at himself.

If someone found him, what would he say? That he was mourning the loss of their friends? In the bathroom? With some hand lotion and no pants on? Sure, it happened all the time.

He was just to have to not get caught.

No one had seen him on his way in, and his memory had served him correctly; there was no camera in the bathroom. Just silence and wood panelling. He thought of splinters and winced.

He put the lid of the toilet down and sat on it.

All of a sudden he felt another powerful wave of awkwardness. Sure, no one else was looking at him, but he was looking at himself and he thought he looked pretty stupid.

He needed to banish these thoughts by replacing them with images of girls. Cute girls. His mind flashed to Chiaki for just a moment before he shut himself down. Yes, she was _extremely_ cute, but he couldn't really imagine looking her in the eye tomorrow with the memory of thinking indecent things about her fresh in his mind.

No, not someone on the island. He thought back to before his arrival at Hope's Peak and eventually settled on a girl in his year who had been a model. Nice, safe, and familiar territory. That was definitely better than hating himself or creeping. Or hating himself for creeping.

He unzipped and got to work. He'd been thinking about this all day and there was a certain amount of anticipation coiled in his gut.

He stroked his dick with the hand lotion for perhaps half a minute, trying to keep his thoughts on that girl. Something was bugging him.

Why today? What had triggered this? Something was scratching at the back of his mind, and just as importantly, killing his boner.

That trip he'd made to Nagito's room on the first night flashed through his mind for a moment. But no, he hadn't been to Nagito's room today. Nagito had been in the theatre, though, and then later at the hospital when they'd found Fuyuhiko. Yes, Hajime had had his fill of that irritating individual for the day.

He thought of that fucking sticker and his hand left his dick for a moment as he cringed internally.

This wasn't going well. Who would have thought that jacking it while his life was in danger wouldn't go so well? He needed to think of something significantly more attractive, now.

The girls in bathing suits not so long ago. That had been good, especially seeing Chiaki in her suit. So cute. He wished he'd gotten closer to her, but it was probably a good thing he hadn't. His hand went back to his dick and moved again slowly.

Nagito's room came to mind again. What was that about?

The slight increase in his heartbeat and the heat under his skin reminded him of that time in Nagito's room, it was true. But that had been fear, or anxiety. Which he was probably feeling now, a little, but he wanted to think about attractive things.

What had triggered that? He remembered reaching forward for that Monocoin, touching hands, then watching the skin on Nagito's back flex as he'd picked up the coin-

His hand moved faster as a jolt of heat moved through his body.

Wow, he really had been starved for attention if just seeing another boy's skin was enough to get his nerves blazing. He had been close enough to touch; maybe that was the temptation. He had a moment's fantasy of touching that skin, reaching out with his free hand, sliding his fingers down Nagito's back-

More heat. He sped up his hand, twisting just lightly with each stroke.

Apparently he was doing this. He was really going to fantasise about the skin of someone he wasn't even attracted to because he was that desperate. He was like a Victorian British man who couldn't look at a table leg without getting a hard-on. Just being near another human was enough to get him off now. Tragic.

But it was working, damn it. He gave into it for the moment, and revisited that first night on the island, the split second of looking across Nagito's back as his shirt rode up. He wanted to imagine Nagito as _anyone else,_ but he couldn't, so he just pictured sliding his hand down that back and into those boxers, cupping his ass-

He let out a slight moaning noise, his breath hitching as his hand moved quickly and effectively. He felt too-hot; he needed to come now.

It had been a while since he'd jerked off, so mercifully his confusing and shameful wank session was short and he came into a wad of toilet paper with the mental image of cupping Nagito's ass, as if he wasn't both another boy and the weirdest and potentially most dangerous person on this island. As if jerking off to another guy's back skin was a nice, normal thing for a straight guy to do, especially when trapped on an island with several attractive girls. He couldn't have thought of Chiaki's back, no, or even her front if he was feeling scandalous. Instead he'd done - whatever that was.

At least he always felt a little awkward and annoyed when looking at Nagito, so there would be no problem tomorrow.

He snuck back into his bedroom, going blissfully unseen, and only considering for half a minute throwing himself in the pool to put himself out of his misery.

\--

_chapter five: daily life_

Even though he knew Hajime hadn't done it on purpose, the raw betrayal Nagito still felt at finding out that Hajime was _nothing,_ was _talentless_ , burned him. And of course Hajime hadn't done it on purpose.  No one without talent could pull off such a grand deception intentionally.

Ah, the only thing he had left was the impending joy of his master plan. Finally, a use for him, and a use that could save the world. He could create hope; become it, even.

He'd felt so disgusting, with his impure thoughts about Hajime, because how dare someone as pathetic as the Ultimate Luck be attracted to someone with real talent, someone who meant something, and wasn't just a filthy little worm like him.

What did he feel now? He didn't know. He expected to feel disgusted in turn that someone like Hajime had even featured in his thoughts. He expected to hate Hajime, but he was struggling to. Instead some wretched part of him just longed for the old feeling back, of want and admiration. Well, he couldn't have it.

After a long day's work, he was in bed. He needed his sleep or he wouldn't be able to be useful. He had more than once touched himself before going to bed while on this island, and he felt that kind of need now, but he'd been thinking of Hajime, of hope, until very recently. And now the idea felt like a punch in the gut.

He had believed so firmly in the idea that Hajime was the most hopeful of everyone on the island. He couldn't even think of the others, because they were all despair, too. Except the traitor, who was hope, but an anonymous hope that he couldn't serve.

Was Hajime the traitor? He didn't think so, but if he was, then he was on Nagito's side, the side of goodness. He was too ordinary to be the traitor. But there was something about the idea that hooked Nagito in anyway.

He felt a buzz in his nerves at the thought, though. Him and Hajime, working together to create hope, to make the world shine. His hand slipped beneath the waistband of his boxers for a moment until he remembered something.

He had tried that gachapon machine on the beach exactly once, curious as to what gift fate would find appropriate to give him. He had received a little kokeshi doll that vibrated, and had experienced a brief moment of feeling offended at the fact he'd seen other people get items that were actually interesting. Then he'd resigned himself to the fact it would be useful another time. The fact he was remembering it now probably meant that the time was now.

He located that doll, and the personal lubricant that he'd found in the bathroom, then slid his boxers down.

He was really was so disgusting.

He wrapped a slick hand around his cock and let out a soft sigh. Hope. Think of hope.

Hajime flashed into his head again. Of course he did; Hajime had been fuelling his sessions in the past. His stupid, disgusting brain was probably still stuck in a rut. Too slow to figure out that Hajime had betrayed him, so it still associated him with hope. And the positive reinforcement of coming while thinking of him didn't help.

But Hajime was, at best, nobody, and at worst, despair. How pitiful that Nagito was still stuck on him.

Who else could he think of? His brain was drawing a blank at figure of hope, after the last few days and the trauma of finding out he had been colluding with despair. Hope itself wasn't quite enough, he needed a face to attach to it. He was only human.

Only Hajime swam in his mind's eye. He couldn't escape from it, it seemed, and would have to give into it. He'd never get to sleep as he was.

"Haha, of course I can't think of anything less pathetic," he said to his empty bedroom.

But it hadn't always been empty. He and Hajime had shared that moment, that one that had turned his brain from mild interest to believing that Hajime had perhaps the most hope of anyone on this island, and all it had taken was Hajime joking about tans and asking about luck. He had been so, so wrong, but then someone as disgusting as him couldn't be trusted to know hope when he saw it, no matter how much he thought he could.

What if Hajime had shown how despairful he was, back then? Would he have kissed Nagito, taken charge, spread despair with his addicting touch? Nagito would have gone along with it, believing in Hajime, enjoying it. Because he was filth that existed to be used by hope and by talent.

One of his hands slid up and tugged at his hair. Had he always been like this? So pathetic, so obsessive? It wouldn't be surprising if being on this island had made it worse. He was under so much pressure, and someone like him wasn't well equipped to deal with it. He'd always been under pressure, so much that it hurt, and it was hard to make himself numb right then.

He needed to backtrack.

Hajime. He tipped a little more lube into his hand, and some onto the head of the doll. It was easy to slip back into the mind of the old him who had fantasised about Hajime so much. His determination to resist this place, his individuality. It was almost comfortable.

He returned to stroking his cock. It felt as good as it had before.

He flashed back to the first day they had been here. Hajime resisting Usami but then changing into his swim trunks. Then later, in Nagito's room, when Hajime let Nagito be near him and let him talk like they were equals. He could imagine Hajime kissing him, conveying some worth upon him with his attention.

Hajime leaning over him, pressing him into the couch, his knee pressing against Nagito's groin.

He circled the head of the doll around his ass, spreading the lube, and then gently eased it in.

His fantasy went up to eleven. Hajime was pulling off his shirt, easing down his boxers.

Nagito bent over, tensing his stomach muscles, and pressed the button on the bottom of the doll. The vibrating started immediately and he let out a sharp gasp, followed by a moan. His other had sped up on his cock, working faster, making soft slick noises barely audible over the buzzing of the doll.

Now he was imagining Hajime working him open, then sliding his cock in and filling Nagito up. Full of Hajime - full of hope. He couldn't voice these things out loud, or he'd be mocked even more than he was now - even he knew that - but he could feel it here, in his room, desperate and needy.

He thought of his plan. The pain he was going to be in, knives slashing him open and a spear impaling him. Finally what he deserved. Pain would absolve him of his sorry existence. He let out a whimper at the thought.

He pushed the vibrator in a little further and let out a longer moan that turned into a whine. His skin felt prickly and he was imagining being kissed, someone blessing his skin with their attention even though he didn't deserve it.

After the longest few seconds in the world of working his cock furiously, desperately, he came with a cry. It was like an electric shock tearing through him, and he shook and arched his back against his sheets, twisting to escape the too-good feeling.

He took a moment or two to collect himself, then turned the vibrator off and removed it from his ass.

Already he was disgusted with himself, for feeling that need for Hajime that had been plaguing him even since the Octagon when he'd found out the truth.

God. What a pathetic waste of space. But he could fix this.

\--

_after the world destroyer_

Nagito hadn't woken up late, although he'd almost certainly be late for the boat if he didn't leave his room soon.

The last few days had passed in a blur. Mikan and Izuru removing despair's arm, Kazuichi and Izuru building him a new one. Everyone learning how to adjust to their newfound old memories. Just as importantly, everyone trying to resolve what had happened on the island. Mikan desperately apologising to Hiyoko and Ibuki, Gundham shaking hands with Nekomaru, the Imposter and Teruteru quietly making peace, and Peko and Fuyuhiko dropping to their knees in front of Mahiru.

If it were possible, he would apologise to Chiaki. Remembering his old memories had only driven that stake deeper into his heart. She'd suffered so much for all of them, and he'd repaid her by killing her, for the second time.

He hadn't meant to. But it had happened.

And he couldn't talk to Hajime. Perhaps Hajime thought that Nagito was angry at him, or distant as he had been in the final act of that island disaster. But he wasn't; instead he was desperately apologetic for thinking Hajime was nothing and for the madness that had gripped him in that simulation.

If he told Hajime he was sorry for thinking he was nothing, Hajime might think he was crawling back to him now he knew that Izuru and Hajime were the same person, and were hope. No, it was because he knew Hajime was a worthy person, talent or otherwise.

And the madness. The worse things got, the more he had to desperately believe that good luck would right the world, would make everything okay again. Watching people die in front of him when he could prevent it was his worst nightmare and the fractured, chaotic thinking he'd experienced after the Octagon was the only way he could cope with it. He had held on to the simple clarity of an explosive master plan to save the world and save himself.

Well. It wasn't the worst thing he'd done. He thought of Towa City, of his slightly fractured but decently clear memories of the things he'd done there.

Now was arguably the most sane he'd been in years. The person they had seen on the island was the man he'd been when he'd first joined Hope's Peak Academy, dangerously alone and freshly diagnosed with death. It was years later now; presumably his fatal, incurable illness had resolved itself through some miracle.

And the man he'd been before the simulation wasn't great, either. He flashed back to meeting Izuru on the boat, feeling his brain splinter and scatter when he tried to figure out where his allegiances lay.

The dragon that was Junko Enoshima and her despair had been slain, and they had all arguably been brought back to sanity. The others seemed fine, matching with his memories of them from the school before the Tragedy.

Even Mikan, arguably the only other student who'd been as mentally unwell as Nagito before Junko's influence, seemed happy and sociable.

But how could he face Hajime after he'd been so erratic and dangerous on the island?

He thought back to when he'd first arrived on the island, before he'd shown his hand. Everyone had gotten along then like they were now. Even him; despite his fears about his health, he'd been accepted by the others.

And Hajime. That first night, in his room, with the two of them. They had liked each other. Maybe they could again.

He clenched the artificial hand he'd been given and smiled. Held the smile for a moment, and tried to make it genuine instead of the one that instinctively jumped to his face. He'd try to smile like this at Hajime later.

\--

**END**

_after the end of hope's peak_

Hajime had been talking to Nagito the whole time they'd been back on the island. He was enjoying it more than he had back in the simulation, when Nagito's sanity was hanging by a thread.

Most of the relationships soured by the killing game had been repaired now, weeks on. But he felt like people still kept their distance from Nagito. Maybe because his motivations were the least easy to understand, or maybe because even outside the killing game he had some strange beliefs about hope and despair. But Hajime understood him now, or so he thought.

At the end of a fantastic dinner held by Teruteru, they were all sitting around the pool drinking. Hajime had drunk multiple screwdrivers and was starting to feel a bit light-headed.

He'd been in his teens a few weeks ago, and his memories as Izuru Kamukura didn't quite feel like him, so the alcohol was strange. But no, he was in his twenties. He could drink. And it wasn't like there was anyone on this island to enforce the drinking age anyway.

Nagito wasn't drinking, not that Hajime was paying particular attention to him or anything. He was leaning against the fence, too, watching everyone with a smile on his face. He was like that; determined to observe his friends rather than be one of them. He didn't drink, either; Hajime had already caught a strange speech from him about clarity and hope that probably translated to, _I don't enjoy it._

He heard a splash and turned to see Mikan bobbing in the pool and Hiyoko laughing at her. Whether Mikan fell or was pushed, he didn't know, but predictably Mikan's shirt combined with water in a way that made Teruteru say something inappropriate. He turned away and walked towards Nagito.

"Hey, Hajime," Nagito said.

"Hey. Having a good time?" Hajime said, readying himself for the usual bright smile.

As always, it appeared. "Yes, it's a lovely evening. Not that we have any other kind here."

"Wait til the rainy season. Then we'll see," Hajime said.

"So pessimistic! Maybe the rain will never come," Nagito said.

Hajime gave a short laugh, then watched the antics by the pool for a moment.

"Thank you for being my friend, Hajime," Nagito said abruptly.

Ah, apparently it was time for him to say slightly inappropriate things in casual conversation.

"It's no problem," he said.

"You were willing to be my friend after everything I did in the Neo World Program, and since the others look to you as a leader, they were willing to accept me too," Nagito said. "I thought all would be lost, but you were kind to me at the start of that program and you're kind to me now."

"I liked you, at the start. And even when you got off the rails. And I like you now," Hajime said. "It's not a pity thing, Nagito."

Nagito let out a breath, then said, "I know. Thank you."

"You can stop thanking me!" Hajime said.

"Sorry," Nagito said.

"And stop saying sorry, too!"

Nagito's mouth moved to apologise again before he caught himself, then smiled.

Noise erupted from the pool and people started playfully arguing and trying to push each other in.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Hajime said.

"Sure, with you," Nagito said.

Hajime pushed off the fence and started walking towards the cottages. At first he was planning to walk down to the beach for a late night stroll, but once he got to the cottages he found he couldn't be bothered. He blamed his traitorous mind for leading him this far.

"Actually, do you just want to go to my cottage? I just want some peace and quiet," Hajime said.

"You might get better peace and quiet without me around," Nagito said, then at the look on Hajime's face added, "Sorry, yes."

That was nice. Instead of randomly burrowing into pits of self-deprecation, Nagito had been making an effort to talk like a person recently. It was easier for Hajime to deal with, considering Nagito's outbursts used to make him annoyed or uncomfortable.

Hajime opened his door, and Nagito followed him into the cottage.

"Ah, I haven't been in here before," Nagito said. "Not in the real world, in any case."

"It's not very exciting," Hajime said. He sat down on the corner of his couch. "It doesn't have the Monokuma stand, though. I'm not unhappy about that."

Instead there was a bookcase, like Nagito's room. He'd added some manga to it and some light reading, but no dense books like Nagito. That didn't stop the other boy from making a beeline for it to inspect his choices.

He'd wanted to come here, but now he had arrived and he was fresh out of inspiration. He wasn't quite tired enough to go to bed, either. He just felt like lying around. Or chatting. What was this restlessness?

"You're not much of a reader, Hajime," Nagito said.

"Very insightful."

"Oh, I didn't mean to offend you! You must have many other hobbies," Nagito said.

"Uh, not really. I used to really like snowboarding," Hajime said. "But it's been a few years. Since, you know, the world ended. I suppose I'd be amazing at now, since-" He didn't finish that sentence, but he didn't need to.

"Yes, you'd be amazingly talented," Nagito said. He couldn't quite hide the excitement in his eyes.

"It is an amazing thing. But I wanted to get good at snowboarding on my own," Hajime said. "Not because of, you know. You must have thought about not having your talent."

"Of course I do. All the time," Nagito said. "I wouldn't be me without this strange power of mine."

"And mine, now," Hajime said. They'd tested it a few times and as far as they could tell, their luck powers were about equal. Nagito was the best lucky student Hope's Peak had ever had, so of course they'd given his talent to Izuru.

He flashed back for a moment to a showdown the pair of them had many years ago. They'd both fired at each other and miserably failed to kill the other off; their luck was too evenly matched. Nagito didn't remember this, but Hajime did, although a little strangely since it was through Izuru's mind.

He had a brief mental image of the look on Nagito's face after he'd been shot. Of course Nagito would find the Ultimate Hope so attractive, especially back then, but to blush, laugh, and then pass out in such an over the top fashion was ridiculous. Hajime couldn't help but let out a short laugh.

"Hm?" Nagito said, reading the back of one of the books.

"Nothing, really," Hajime said.

"I'm glad you have your luck, or I'd be worried about spending so much time with you," Nagito said. "I can be very dangerous for the people around me, but with you I don't have to fear."

"Maybe you do. Maybe I'm going to use my ultimate talents on you and kick your ass," Hajime said.

"Well, that would be the best way to go," Nagito said, with a bright smile. He turned and sat next to Hajime on the couch. "You can do whatever you want to me, I don't mind."

Hajime felt his cheeks redden, and he didn't say anything. Nagito always got him flustered, but then he did that to everyone.

Nagito turned and looked out the blinds. They could see the party continuing unabated. He wondered if people had even noticed they'd left.

"I wonder what people think of the two of us leaving like this," Nagito said, copying his thoughts. "I'm sure we'll get teased at breakfast tomorrow."

Hajime's heart sank. Nagito was right; now everyone was going to think they were up to something, that they'd snuck away to do something. He felt his heart rate increase.

"Hm, Hajime, are you okay?" Nagito said.

"Don't say things like that," Hajime said.

Nagito looked worried. "Like what? Shouldn't I ask you if you're okay?"

"No, about us," Hajime said.

"Oh," Nagito said, and after a pause he added, "Sorry, Hajime."

"No, it's okay, I don't mind," Hajime said.

"I thought you did mind?" Nagito said.

"I'm-" Hajime's brain stalled for a moment. What was he doing? Where was he taking this? His mind was stuck on something, like a blood clot of cognitive dissonance he couldn't break down.

"I've always been attracted to you, Hajime, but I don't expect you to want to date me," Nagito said.

Hajime had known that, but it made his brain jam harder. He couldn't avoid how Nagito had always behaved towards him, so clearly enamoured, but he'd just had to push it away because of fear, or because he didn't have time for it, or more importantly because he was straight, he couldn't date another man.

"Yeah, it's okay, sorry to tell you off," Hajime said. He felt he should keep talking, let Nagito feel a little better. "I know you're gay, that doesn't bother me. Sorry for getting annoyed."

"I'm not gay," Nagito said, his head tilting to the side slightly.

"What?" Hajime said. That hadn't improved the backlog of jammed thoughts in his head at all.

"No, I'm attracted to hope! Like you and Makoto, because of the way you shine bright," Nagito said.

"That's not a thing," Hajime said.

"It's how I am," Nagito said.

"Dude, I think you're just gay," Hajime said. "With a kind of fetish for hope."

"I've always been attracted to hope," Nagito said.

"Who's hope, then?" Hajime said.

"You, Makoto, and yourself as Izuru ... as well as a few other boys from Hope's Peak, but only in passing," Nagito said.

"So you're telling me you're attracted to hope, but that hope looks like boys your own age," Hajime said.

Nagito laughed. "Yes, it looks that way."

"Have you ever been attracted to a girl? You've been to Hope's Peak with a lot of them," Hajime said.

"No, I don't think so."

"Why?"

"Because I haven't met a girl who fits my criteria," Nagito said. His ever-present smile dropped for a moment and he looked thoughtful. "Oh."

"Yeah."

Nagito smiled and laughed again. "Well, I suppose I'm gay then."

"You're just cool with it? Like that?" Hajime said.

"What reaction am I supposed to have? It doesn't change my life in any way," Nagito said.

"I guess so," Hajime said.

The odd feeling hadn't resolved itself. Maybe he was just a bit drunk and needed to go to bed.

"How about you, Hajime?" Nagito said.

"What about me?" Hajime said.

"You're not gay," Nagito said.

"No, I'm not," Hajime said.

"But you are attracted to men?" Nagito said.

He wanted to aggressively object - _no, that's wrong!_ \- but he couldn't.

"I've only been attracted to girls," Hajime said, running his brain through a quick roster of all the girls he'd ever thought about that way. He remembered then that one night in the old hotel building, where he hadn't been able to stop thinking about Nagito. "I think," he added.

"You think?" Nagito said. His eyes were wide and eager; there was a very slight flush to his cheeks. Of course, Nagito had just admitted being attracted to him. No wonder he was hanging on his every word now, even if he had said before he didn't expect Hajime to reciprocate.

"I don't really want to talk about it," Hajime said, and that was true. Thinking about it anymore, trying to get rid of his stalled thoughts, was somewhere he didn't want to go.

"Why not?" Nagito said.

"It's not," Hajime started. He took a short breath and tried to continue. "Because I shouldn't feel like this. I'm not supposed to."

"Says who? I just said I'm gay, and it was no problem," Nagito said. He leaned in a little closer to Hajime, and Hajime leaned away.

"Yeah, but you're, _you._ You don't care what people think of you," Hajime said.

Nagito frowned a little, "I do care, even if I'm not very good at it," he said.

"Sorry, yes. But it's not the same thing," Hajime said.

"We're on an island with only our friends. We can be whoever we want to be," Nagito said.

Hajime's brain froze once again. He had been thinking about society, about being seen as less of a man, about being judged and rejected in a way that Nagito was already brutally used to but Hajime couldn't handle. He'd been so distressed with his normal life, back before the Tragedy; he didn't want to add a degree of stigma into how much he already hated the way the world looked at him.

But they were going to be on this island for a long time. There were no cameras and no one was going to check on them, much.

Something cool touched his cheek. Nagito gently guided them back into eye contact; he looked worried. "Hajime," he said. "We're adults, we're only surrounded by friends. I like you. If you want to do something, then do it. You shouldn't care about what people think."

Hajime felt his face heat up. "I don't know what to do," he said.

"But you're not saying you're straight?" Nagito said. His face was starting to light up again.

"No," Hajime said.

In fact, Nagito's face was looking happy, almost mischievous. "So you wouldn't mind me talking about how much I want you?" he said.

"Uh," Hajime said. Was Nagito trying to overshare? Or was he trying to provoke Hajime's interest? Probably the latter. Nagito was trying to help him, or at least help him make up his mind.

He thought of his vague fantasies about Nagito's back, of all things. It wouldn't be hard to provoke Hajime's interest.

_Haha, hard._

"No, I guess not," Hajime said. His voice cracked ever so slightly.

"You know I was interested in you as soon as we met, on the island," Nagito said. "Leaving Izuru aside, I was attracted to you. On that first day, as we walked around and introduced you to everyone. I thought I was admiring your hope, but I liked you more after you stripped down to go swimming, so perhaps I was admiring something else."

Hajime couldn't deal with Nagito staring at him so intently and from such a short distance. His face and neck were burning hot, but he didn't want to move.

"I don't remember which night it was that I touched myself for the first time. I wasn't certain about doing it on camera, so I stayed close to the wall and put the blankets over myself the first time. But even trying to be secretive, I couldn't help but moan your name," Nagito said. He was speaking quickly, his voice getting increasingly breathy. Hajime couldn't look away. "I found some lube in the bathroom, and that made things easier, because then I could imagine you fucking me, too."

"Ah-" slipped out of Hajime's mouth, before he bared his teeth.

"I know our lives were in danger, but I couldn't stop thinking about you," Nagito said. "I wanted you to kiss me, to push me down onto your bed and fuck me. I wanted to run my tongue over your body. Especially, aha, I wanted to suck your cock."

Hajime's body was burning up and he could feel his cock pressing against the material of his pants. Nagito, not one to miss details, had definitely noticed too, but he didn't stop talking.

"But I had to settle for that vibrating doll I had. Which felt good, but not as good as I imagined you feeling," Nagito said. "And, Hajime? I still want to do all of those things now. Maybe I want to do them even more than I did then. So please, won't you?"

"I want to," Hajime said. His voice came out a little lower than he was expecting, and he was more short of breath than he had thought. "But I don't know what to do."

"Do what you want to," Nagito said, with a look on his face like he'd just had all his wishes granted.

The final wall holding Hajime back was his complete lack of knowledge on what to do. He'd never kissed anyone before and all the simulations he was running in his brain on how to do so felt impossibly awkward.

_Just go for it._

He put his hands on either side of Nagito's face and pulled him forward, pressing their lips together.

Even as a dry kiss, it sent tingles down his spine. Nagito laughed breathily against his face.

"Was that okay?" Hajime said.

Nagito, still beaming, leaned in for another kiss, this one a little softer. He held them together for a moment, tilting his head to the side and opening his mouth just a little against Hajime's.

He smelled good, like warm skin and pleasant deodorant, and his lips were soft and pleasant. He tried to move back, and Hajime followed him, kissing him again. His hands dropped from Nagito's face to his waist, and Hajime opened his mouth too, turning the kiss into something deeper.

This was magical. This was what Hajime had wanted for a lot longer than he could admit to himself, even now. But he could admit one thing, and pulled back an inch from Nagito to say it.

"Nagito, I think I'm bi," Hajime said. Nagito rested their foreheads together.

His mind felt cleared. He was still anxious about what to do now, but the tension and anxiety he'd felt around Nagito was fading away.

He was ... bisexual. It felt weird to even think it. And he was attracted to Nagito. He probably had been for some time. Were there others guys he could be attracted to? Probably, although he hadn't met them yet.

"Does this mean we're dating?" Hajime said.

"If you want to," Nagito said, and Hajime could feel the eagerness in his voice. "But we don't have to make any decisions right now."

He was right. They probably had the night to themselves, no matter what they decided tomorrow. And what Hajime wanted now was more of Nagito.

He kissed him again, pulling Nagito a little closer by the waist. He felt clumsy, but it helped that he knew how much Nagito liked him. This was already good, for Nagito; it would be hard to disappoint him.

Nagito shuffled closer, then swung his leg over Hajime's lap so he was straddling him. Hajime's fingers slid from his waist to his back, finally getting his hands on that coveted flesh.

They were kissing faster now, and Nagito's lips felt soft and wet and inviting. This was perfect.

"Can I-" Nagito gasped.

"Mm?" Hajime said.

Nagito turned his head back a little to take a breath of air, and Hajime moved in and kissed his neck.

"Aha, Hajime," Nagito gasped out.

Hajime _liked_ that. He liked it a lot. Aiming for a stretch of muscle, he licked his way up to his jaw. Nagito let out a long, shuddering breath in response, and Hajime was only encouraged.

"Hajime," Nagito said, his voice getting a bit of a whine to it.

"Yeah?" he said.

"Can I touch you?" Nagito said.

Hajime noticed that Nagito's hands were just hovering over his shoulders.

"Of course," Hajime said.

Nagito looked almost hungry as he placed his hands on Hajime's shoulders, then ran them down his chest slowly. Where Nagito touched him his skin felt almost tingly, and he laughed in response. His prosthetic hand was cool against him, and the fingers hard, but that was nice, or at least idiosyncratic enough that it made Hajime happy.

"Okay?" Nagito said.

Hajime nodded, then leaned up to kiss Nagito again. He felt Nagito's tongue touch the inside of his bottom lip, and brought a hand up into his fluffy white hair to pull them closer together and deepen the kiss. Then he just played with his hair a little, because he could, and because Nagito was that cute.

 _Cute._ Describing another boy as cute felt strange, but good. He wanted to say it out loud.

"You're cute," he said.

"Am I?" Nagito said. He leaned back a little, his cheeks flushed and eyes wide.

"Yeah, fuck yes. You're incredibly cute," Hajime said. He slid his hands up Nagito's back a little, then said, "You should take off your jacket."

Nagito obliged, tugging it off with quick, short motions. He was taller than Hajime by the smallest margin and sitting on his lap, so his collarbones were now at face level, and Hajime responded by licking over them and his neck.

He felt Nagito's hands on the button of his shirt. They hesitated for a moment, so Hajime nodded, and they set about unbuttoning his shirt as quickly as possible.

There was half a moment in which he felt self-conscious, but then he just reminded himself again that Nagito was really into him.

Nagito tugged at his shirt, and Hajime leaned forward and let him slide the shirt down his arms.

"That's not fair," Hajime said. Nagito made a questioning noise, and Hajime added, "That you still have a shirt on." He slid the hem of Nagito's shirt up, and Nagito let him pull it off.

Now he was just faced with an expanse of skin. It was much as he expected, a broad plane of skin stretched just a little tight, betraying Nagito's usual poor health. He went to dip his head, only to feel Nagito's fingers brushing through his hair. They touched along a line very familiar to him.

"Yeah, that's the scar," Hajime said. His time as Izuru felt like in many ways like it wasn't him, and one of the hardest things to connect back to himself was the word 'lobotomy'.

Nagito traced it for just a moment longer, then leaned forward and kissed it very gently. Something about the tenderness behind that gesture was a lot more embarrassing than anything that had happened so far. Nagito really cared about him, which he already knew, but having someone express such open affection for him was ... difficult, but pleasant.

"You liked Izuru, didn't you?" Hajime said. He still identified with the name somewhat, but here and now he wanted to just be Hajime.

"He's hope," Nagito said simply. "I was always drawn to him and his beauty."

Hajime had never actually told Nagito the exact details of that one time he'd been shot and had clearly experienced some kind of religious ecstasy as he'd fallen down. Maybe he shouldn't. He didn't know much about mental health, but his encounters with Nagito had led him to believe that despite everything, right now on the island might be the highest point he'd reached in many years.

"So you think I'm beautiful?" Hajime teased.

Nagito's face could hardly get any more bright. "Of course I do! You shine like sunlight."

Hajime felt an overwhelming urge to say _'That's gay,'_ until he reminded himself that what was happening right now was not divorceable from gayness. This also probably meant that he was due to return the compliment.

"Well, you're very, uh," he really wished he had Nagito's natural openness when it came to flattery, even if it made Nagito unpopular sometimes. No one was here to judge him. He should go with what he really thought. "You're really pretty. You're naturally so delicate, like porcelain, and it makes me feel like you're too valuable to touch."

"I won't break if you touch me," Nagito said.

"Is that an invitation?" Hajime said.

"If you want it to be!"

He wasn't going to take that any other way. His subconscious had been fantasising about this for a long time and now he had the chance he was going to take it.

He ran his tongue along Nagito's collarbone then moved down. Nagito even smelled nice. His hands rested nicely on Nagito's hips as he peppered kisses across Nagito's chest.

Nagito's arms wrapped around Hajime's head, and he heard the slightest of appreciative noises.

"I'm sorry I'm so skinny," Nagito breathed out.

"It's fine, you look how you look, I like it," Hajime said.

"I'm-" Nagito said, then stopped himself.

"You're okay?" Hajime said.

Nagito gave a short laugh, then said, "I'm trying to not beat myself up."

"Thank you," Hajime said. "You're doing well."

That was met with another slightly nervous laugh. Hajime's response was to move up to Nagito's neck and kiss behind his ear. He tried sucking the flesh there and was met by Nagito shuffling a little closer to him and making a noise in his throat that was unavoidably hot.

This wasn't so difficult. Just do what he likes and keep checking he's okay. Hajime had never really had any grand visions about how his first makeout session would go, but this was good.

He was enjoying bullying Nagito's neck, and out of curiosity switched to the other side. As he sucked the skin, then used a little teeth, Nagito let out a definite moan, his arms tightening around Hajime's head, and he moved his hips to grind right down on him. Hajime let go of Nagito's neck for a moment to breath heavily.

"You liked that, huh," Hajime said.

"Ah, you're mean," Nagito said.

Now he had something like that, of course he was going to exploit it. He placed his lips against that spot and worked at it again as Nagito squirmed.

He slid his hands down onto Nagito's ass, and not feeling any hesitation from Nagito, squeezed a little and pulling Nagito even closer to him, somehow. That felt amazing.

Hands on his face pulled his chin up and then Nagito was kissing him again, messily and desperately. Closed eyes, warm lips, and a tongue meeting his. All his senses were being assaulted by this beautiful man straddling him and kissing him.

The concept that he wasn't attracted to Nagito now felt completely laughable. He slid one hand down Nagito's thigh, revelling in the feeling of jeans over firm flesh.

Nagito's hands were on his chest, exploring lightly and with reverence, like he was tracing a sculpture. Trust him to act like he was being blessed. Hajime was too interested in feeling Nagito's skin in his hands to be so careful.

He felt Nagito's hips shift from side to side, and wondered what he was doing for a moment before he let out a groan as Nagito started to deliberately grind against him. His skin felt hot and prickly and he heard Nagito let out the slightest of laughs.

"Now who's being mean?" Hajime said, kissing Nagito again and pushing his hips up against him a bit.

Nagito let out a breath into his mouth and then resumed his efforts, sucking Hajime's bottom lip.

This was bliss. Having Nagito enjoy himself was, well, enjoyable. He moved back to that place on his neck and found that it made Nagito's hips move faster, and the heavy breathing next to his ear hitch.

Nagito's hand grabbed his wrist and then he felt wet warmth against his fingers. Hajime leaned back to see Nagito sucking on tips of his fingers, tonguing over them, playing them over his lips.

It wasn't hard for Hajime to imagine some other part of him between Nagito's lips, and he felt like the wind had been punched out of him as he felt himself somehow get harder.

The corners of Nagito's mouth turned up. Smug bastard, he knew exactly what he was doing.

Hajime could get revenge for that. Back to that spot on his neck, and he cautiously brought his free hand forward to the obvious tent that Nagito was pitching in his jeans. He hovered for a second, then asked, "We'd be stepping over the line from just kissing to, uh, something really sexual," Hajime said.

"I have no problem with that if you don't," Nagito said in a low murmur.

Which left it up to him. He could feel a million things holding him back, most of which were based in fear and anxiety. What if they weren't friends after this? What if he disappointed Nagito? Was he ready to lose his virginity right now, directly after his first kiss? And what would happen after tonight? The idea of being attracted to Nagito and having sex with him made him feel dirty, but there was no reason for him to feel like that. All his fear was about maybes, and half of it came down to how much Nagito liked him, which was a lot.

Nagito wouldn't judge him and they'd work out a way forward together. There was certainly a large part of Hajime that _did_ want this. And he should stop holding back.

He cupped Nagito's dick carefully and applied a little pressure, and was met by a hot exhale against his neck. Well, that was perfect. He unbuttoned Nagito's jeans and eased down the fly so he could get into his pants.

His hand met the soft fabric of those chequered grey boxers he'd seen before, and the hard cock underneath them.

Nagito leaned down and kissed him again as he cautiously moved his hand against Nagito's cock, not entirely certain what he was doing.

He felt Nagito's hands on his own fly and tensed for a moment. Nagito hesitated and he nodded. A moment later, he felt those long fingers pull his pants down a little and free his own cock. He seemed to know what he was doing, and gave him a slow, luxurious stroke that sent heat burning through Hajime's groin.

Hajime could figure out how to do that much. He slipped his hand inside Nagito's boxers, and Nagito's hips wiggled to slide his pants down and make room. Now there was nothing between him and Nagito's skin. He wrapped his hand around his cock and tried to stroke slowly and firmly.

He remembered Nagito's neck, and kissed that while stroking a little harder.

Oh, that worked. Nagito's hips jerked towards him and he heard a moan. Hajime liked that a whole lot. He nipped and licked at one spot of tense muscle and was met with a moan of his name and Nagito stroking him harder in response. Hajime's other hand was holding Nagito's ass, and this was exactly what he'd had wanted.

Nagito bent down to kiss him again, and now Nagito's mouth was wet and his lips were soft and full, just perfect against Hajime's. He pulled Nagito a little closer and their hands bumped together, moving quickly.

"Mm, Hajime," Nagito gasped.

"..What?"

"Thank you for doing this-"

"Don't thank me," Hajime said. He rested his forehead against Nagito's. "We're doing this together."

Cheesy maybe, but Nagito was the honest type and to get it across Hajime needed to be the same.

Nagito laughed and kissed Hajime again. Hajime's next move was to speed up again and start twisting his wrist a little. Nagito's eyes slid closed and he started making short, sharp whining noises that went right to Hajime's dick.

He was close. It felt so much better when it was Nagito's careful hand working his cock, making his skin prickle with anticipation. He pushed his tongue into Nagito's mouth and jerked his hand right as Nagito's hips bucked into him, and Nagito let out a loud, breathy moan right in his face, then almost begged his name, "Hajime," in a desperately needy tone. That was enough. Hajime let out a choked noise and came just after Nagito.

The pair of them paused for a moment to catch their breath. The light and distant noise from his friends outside finally reached him, and he had a hot moment of panic, imagining them judging him, even if it wasn't exactly a rational thing to fear. Surely they wouldn't mind-

Nagito leaned down and kissed him again, gently, and he stopped worrying about that. This was a slower, lazier kiss, Nagito exploring his mouth almost thoughtfully, and Hajime started to think about his evening a little differently. He was now that guy who had snuck away from a party to get laid with someone really fucking attractive. That had to be a win. Maybe it would be a little embarrassing in the long term but everyone would get over it-

 _The long term,_ he thought again, and he felt another jolt of emotion about there being a long term between him and Nagito. Just general emotion, not anything specific.

But damn it if Nagito wasn't trying his best to keep Hajime's thoughts in the present. He was just kissing him for the sake of being kissed, enjoying the contact that the Hajime's subconscious had been craving for so long.

Later would be later. He could do this now.

Nagito pulled away for a moment to find Hajime's box of tissues and grab them a couple, cleaning up the mess. Then he stood up, kicked off his shoes, and slid his pants to the ground, leaving him in just his boxers. He sat back down next to Hajime and kissed him again.

Hajime couldn't resist the urge to run his hands over Nagito's smooth thighs. He stopped when he reached puffy scar tissue.

They were impressive slashes, right across Nagito's thighs, leaving long, thin scars like they'd been done by something very sharp. Hajime had a moment of remembering Nagito dead and stretched out on the floor, thighs tattered and bleeding, but that was in the simulation and these scars didn't look like that.

He let out a questioning noise, then immediately regretted it. This man had a history of terrible mental health and he'd cut off his own arm; it wasn't a very nice move of Hajime to make other wounds so conspicuous.

"Haha, those are from Genocide Jack," Nagito said.

"What?" Hajime said. "The serial killer?"

"Yes. I'm really quite lucky to be alive. She had apparently taken a vow not to kill anyone shortly before we met," Nagito said, giving a carefree laugh.

Hajime nodded slowly, taking that information in. It was a lot. Of course Nagito had tangled with a notorious Japanese serial killer; why wouldn't he? He rubbed his thumbs over the scars and smiled. "Trouble always finds you, doesn't it?"

"Or maybe I'm trouble itself," Nagito said lightly.

"I can handle that," Hajime said. Moving past the scars, he continued feeling up Nagito's thighs, enjoying the feeling of warm skin. His hands slipped under the thin fabric of his boxers, cupping Nagito's ass again. What could he say? It felt good.

Nagito ran his finger along Hajime's jaw and pulled him into a forceful kiss. Looking Hajime in the eye, he asked, "Can I suck your cock?"

And Hajime had been feeling a little tired a moment ago. All of a sudden he wasn't; he felt very awake, and so did his dick.

"Uh-" Hajime blurted out. "Yes?"

There was now a definite mischief to Nagito's usual obliging smile. He sank to the ground between Hajime's knees and helped pull his pants down. Hajime was tense and curious; just like everything tonight this was new ground but it promised to be good.

Nagito started by licking gently at Hajime's inner thighs. He wasn't ticklish but the soft touch of his tongue had him squirming, especially as Nagito's fluffy hair started to brush his skin too. Cautiously he reached his hand down and slid his fingers into the white cloud, his hand instantly trapped by tangles.

He briefly imagined what Nagito would look like with his hair brushed and straightened. That horrifying image broke his mental tension and he relaxed a little.

Nagito's hands slid up to his hips, grasping Hajime's boxers, and gently easing them down, exposing Hajime's dick, which was well on its way to being hard again.

 _He asked to do this,_ Hajime reminded himself, letting out a long breath.

Nagito raised his eyebrows at Hajime and Hajime nodded quickly. God, he wanted this. Nagito's hand wrapped around the base of his cock and Nagito leaned forward to start licking the head, slowly but thoroughly. And that was amazing.

His hand moved slowly, working the base of his cock as Nagito's mouth lathed over the head. Hajime let out a hitched moan, which just spurred Nagito into licking more thoroughly. It took all his self-control to avoid thrusting his hips towards Nagito, but no, he didn't want to choke or hurt him.

Nagito sat up on his knees a little, fixed Hajime with a burning look, and then swallowed most of the length of his cock with one smooth motion.

"Ah, Nagito, oh my god-" Hajime gasped, his hand clenching into Nagito's hair, pulling Nagito a little closer. He couldn't resist twitching his hips as Nagito started to bob his head, sucking and licking enthusiastically. "Ah, ah, ah, Nagito, please," Hajime said.

His free hand shot to his head to rake through his own hair. It was almost too much, the sensation electrifying his whole body, but he didn't want it to stop. He could feel the flat of Nagito's tongue against his dick, and all of a sudden everything went up a gear as Nagito started moaning around his cock, the vibration echoing through him.

Hajime opened an eye to look down. He could see Nagito's arm moving; was he jerking off? He had to be. The thought that Nagito was so aroused by sucking him off that he had to touch himself at the same time was the final straw for Hajime. He tried to warn Nagito but only made a choked noise as he came hard, somehow harder than before, into Nagito's mouth.

It felt impossible to catch his breath, he was so choked up from excitement. Nagito's hand that had been on Hajime's cock dipped into his mouth, coming out coated in a mixture of come and saliva. Hajime watched, breathless, as Nagito leaned back, spreading his legs and revealing his hand moving quickly on his cock. His other hand disappeared behind him, near his ass, _was he going to-?_

He couldn't see what Nagito's other hand did, but his imagination could fill in the gaps as Nagito's eyes widened and he let out what was close to a yelp of pleasure. He looked at Hajime, his face overwhelmed with pleasure, and panted out, "You need to fuck me, tonight. I need you in me, ah!" Both of his hands worked furiously for just a couple of seconds before his cock spurted jets of come onto the floor.

God, Hajime was desperate to do just that. He wanted to fuck Nagito so much and he'd never felt so aroused and so spent at the same time. He needed a few minutes to get himself together but he didn't want them. He wanted Nagito, now.

Hajime dropped to his knees on the floor and pulled the dazed-looking Nagito into a deep, messy kiss.

"Aha, was it worth it?" Nagito said, breathing heavily.

"That was ... yeah, fantastic," Hajime said.

Nagito slumped a little bit, face flushed, looking almost over-exerted. Hajime crept an arm around his back, supporting him.

"Are you okay?" Hajime said.

"Yes," Nagito said, then paused to catch his breath again.

Hajime's head was starting to clear a little and he realised he'd put his knee down in one of the come streaks on the floor. It was significantly less sexy now that it was cold.

"Do you want to have a shower together?" he asked. It came to him so easily, like he knew what to do. He didn't.

"That would be pleasant," Nagito said, smiling. Hajime helped him to his feet, noticing not for the first time that Nagito was skinny and easily exhausted. Hopefully he was healthy enough; his luck tended to have a cruel yet protective effect.

He ran the shower and Nagito got under it eagerly, washing away sweat and saliva. Hajime knew he probably needed cleaning as well, but watching Nagito was engaging enough. He got to admire the body he'd been thinking about for such a long time.

"My physique isn't much, but I try to make up for it with other talents," Nagito said with a light laugh.

Was he self-conscious? Possibly. Hajime got under the water, wetting his hair and rinsing his face.

"Ha, Hajime, I understand if you're done with me now," Nagito said, his eyes refusing to meet Hajime's, body language submissive. "But thank you for a good evening."

"Hey, Nagito, why are you acting like I'm about to kick you out? I'm not 'done with you', I genuinely like you," Hajime said. Annoyance crept into his voice. "I'm almost offended you thought I was using you."

"Sorry," Nagito said. He looked as though he was at a loss for words.

Was this Nagito repeating some situation that had occurred before? He'd gone from happy to kowtowing with no obvious prompt. Hajime didn't quite know what was happening here. He wanted to make some statement about not wanting this to be one night, but he hadn't quite decided exactly what he was angling for.

The idea of never doing this again, never getting to work through his not insignificant list of things he wanted to do with/to Nagito, stung. So he wanted some kind of sexual relationship, for sure. And he wanted to hang out with Nagito, just the two of them. He wanted to figure out Nagito, make him laugh, go on dates.

It sounded to Hajime like he wanted to be in a relationship with Nagito.

"Go out with me," Hajime said.

"Hm?"

"You and I can be a couple. We'll sit together and sleep together and spend time together. If that's what you want, I mean. But I'd really like that," Hajime said.

Nagito's whole face lit up. "Yes! If you want me, then I'd love that," he said. He started talking excitedly about things they could do together around the island - little things, like fishing or exploring the beaches or having a closer look at the theme park now he had a big strong _boyfriend_ to look after him. Hajime watched him, loving to see him talk, and the word 'boyfriend' hit him like a freight train. He'd just agreed to have, and be, a boyfriend.

"Hey, Nagito," Hajime said, and Nagito paused mid-sentence, eager to listen to Hajime. Instead Hajime kissed him and Nagito responded hungrily, his hands coming up to Hajime's chest and sliding across muscle and skin. "Do you think we're clean yet?"

"I think so!" Nagito said.

"Well, then, maybe we should hop out of the shower," Hajime said, licking at Nagito's neck, his hands sliding down his back.

"We'll get dirty again," Nagito whined, although Hajime caught the hints of a smile on his face.

"Do you have a problem with that?" Hajime said.

"Well - not exactly," Nagito said. He laughed happily and pulled Hajime into a wet hug. "My boyfriend," he added.

"That's me," Hajime said.

Nagito looked so _happy,_ like radiant sunshine, and Hajime knew right then that pursuing this smile was going to be his new pastime.

He turned off the spray of water and found fluffy towels for each of them. Drying off quickly, he watched as Nagito carefully dried the joints of his prosthesis, then rubbed his hair with a vigorousness that explained how it got that fluffy.

Nagito sat on the bed and shuffled back so he was sitting in the middle of it, legs parted a little, looking expectant.

"You're so cute," Hajime said, trying to avoid grinning outright.

"I believe I've said it already," Nagito said, "But I want you to fuck me, Hajime."

He parted his legs a little further and reached down to start stroking his cock.

That was enough to fully end Hajime's recovery period. His brain tripped over a whole pile of different thoughts and he stalled for a moment, before stuttering out, "Lube?"

"I hope so!" Nagito said, laughing.

He had some in the bathroom, if he recalled correctly. He grabbed another clean towel while he was in there. They had to sleep in this bed tonight and it wouldn't do to make a mess. And condoms. That would probably make things easier.

He was proud of his own ability to be rational in a time like this.

With his cargo he climbed onto the bed with Nagito. He unfolded the towel and slipped it under Nagito's hips, then kept his hand on Nagito's ass as he leaned up to kiss him again.

Nagito let go of his dick to wrap one arm around Hajime's neck and the other around his waist. There was nothing between them now, just clean skin on skin.

He wanted to spend the rest of the night here, enjoying the moment of kissing Nagito slowly, sucking at his lower lip and listening to how he exhaled softly. He also wanted to fuck his boyfriend. The latter urge was winning.

Shifting his hips so that their cocks were pressed together, he steadied himself with one arm and used his other hand to gently stroke both of them.

Nagito let out a gasp and a quiet hiccupping noise, then pulled Hajime closer, his tongue slipping deeper into Hajime's mouth.

"You okay?" Hajime whispered.

"Mm," Nagito said, nodding quickly.

Nagito lifted his legs so that his soft thighs were gripping Hajime's hips, holding him in place.

"What do I do next?" Hajime asked gently. He was a little out of depth here, while Nagito was happily drowning.

"Get some lube on your fingers, and, ah," Nagito closed his eyes and moaned as Hajime moved back to his neck. "You're not being fair, Hajime."

"I'm listening," Hajime said. "I'm paying complete attention." He bit down a little on the skin right behind Nagito's ear, and stroked more firmly at the same time.

"Ah, Hajime," Nagito groaned.

"Yes, Nagito?"

"Hah, fuck you," Nagito said.

"I'm trying, but you haven't told me how yet," Hajime said.

He was loving this. Making Nagito feel good, teasing him, being this close to him.

"Finger me," Nagito said.

Hajime stopped stroking their cocks so he could locate the lube, which had rolled down the blanket next to his knee. Nagito made a slight noise of complaint.

"I have to hold myself up somehow," Hajime said. His elbow was getting a little tired, on that note.

He had a little trouble trying to get the lube out on his fingers. More was much better than less, he was willing to bet, and he filled his palm with it, dropped the bottle, and let it run down his fingers, dripping onto the bed.

There was a crinkling noise and he spied Nagito tearing open the condom wrapper and reaching down to put it onto his cock. His hand slipped at first and Hajime suppressed a laugh. Nagito wrapped his arm more tightly around Hajime's back and got it right this time, sliding the latex on and stroking Hajime's cock.

He was getting distracted, and his hand was completely coated in lube.

He brought his fingers down to Nagito's ass and carefully pressed the tip of his index finger against his hole, then slid it in. It was easier than he had expected; he slipped his finger in as far as it would go while Nagito led out a long, relieved breath.

"That feels good," Nagito said.

"I hope it does," Hajime said, dryly. "Otherwise this is a waste of time."

Nagito laughed.

Moving his finger in and out, he kept adding lube until his ass provided almost no resistance and he could add a second finger.

He tried hooking his fingers a little as he dragged them out, and Nagito whined, his fingers clutching Hajime's hair and pulling.

"You okay?" Hajime murmured into Nagito's chest.

"Yes," Nagito said. "Keep going. Please."

He could only just reach Nagito's neck from his current position, so he satisfied himself instead by licking Nagito's chest, trying to map as much as he could with his lips and tongue, as he increased the speed of his fingers.

"I think it's okay now," Nagito said.

"Are you sure?" Hajime said.

"Fuck me," Nagito said, grey eyes staring intensely at Hajime, face flushed an excited red.

"Okay, let's do this," Hajime said.

He slid his fingers out of Nagito's ass and stroked his own cock to slick it with lube, then held his cock in place as he shifted his hips closer to Nagito's.

His desire to get this right and not embarrass himself was starting to make him nervous.

 _He's your boyfriend now. Surely he can handle a little inexperience,_ Hajime thought.

He lined his cock up with Nagito's ass and slid himself in.

It was _good_. Air rushed out of his lungs as he slid his cock as deep as it would go, enveloped in burning warmth, accompanied by a breathy moan from Nagito.

"Ah, Hajime, that's good," Nagito gasped.

Hajime carefully moved his hips back, trying it out, and felt an addictive, burning pleasure run through him at the drag of skin on skin.

He had a free hand now, a slippery one. As he started to gently thrust into Nagito, he gripped Nagito's cock with his slippery fingers and starting to stroke in time with his thrusts.

His skin felt prickly-hot and he was breathing hard, way harder than this small amount of exertion justified. Nagito was still gripping his hair, and he pulled Hajime's face closer to his, stretching his neck up so that they could kiss again, slippery and messy, Hajime's teeth catching on Nagito's lips, making Nagito whine and moan.

His neck. Hajime used his supporting arm to pull Nagito even closer to him, so he could bite down on that spot again, lathing with his tongue to soothe the sting of his teeth.

Nagito's moans were getting louder and more desperate as Hajime's hips got faster. He smeared another squirt of lube onto his fingers and slid his fingers along Nagito's cock more quickly, chasing the pleasure that was burning through his body.

His hips were meeting Nagito's as they moved desperately to get every last inch of Hajime deep inside him.

One last deep thrust from Hajime and Nagito jerked his hips and came onto himself, breathing hard, the slightest hint of a whine trailing each breath. Two thrusts later and Hajime did the same, coming deep into Nagito's ass.

His tense muscles softened up and he let Nagito's head drop back onto pillows as he slumped a little, a thorough exhaustion spreading through him.

Nagito's hand cupped his chin and he felt soft kisses against his forehead. He revelled in the simple affection for half a minute before he slid himself out of Nagito.

"Maybe a second shower?" Nagito said.

"I think so," Hajime said, beginning to become aware of how much lube he'd managed to get everywhere and how much saliva he'd licked onto Nagito. He shifted up the bed and kissed Nagito again, gently, enjoying Nagito's swollen lips.

He took a deep breath to shake some feeling back into tired muscles, and climbed off Nagito to his feet. The towel was a good idea; there was lube spread across it in wet patches.

The condom wrapper and condom went in the bin, the towel in the wash, and the lube back under the sink. Nagito turned the shower to hot and Hajime joined him in there.

He didn't feel like he needed to talk now.

Once they were both clean they towelled off again and flopped into bed. It was too hot to use anything except a sheet. Nagito immediately rested his head on Hajime's chest and wrapped an arm around him, his thumb gently rubbing the curve of Hajime's hip bone.

"We can do this again," Hajime said, wondering at the prospect. His boyfriend. They could sleep together, kiss, fuck all they wanted, punctuated by these beautiful moments of peacefulness.

"We had better," Nagito said.

He was tired and wanted to fall asleep, and while he didn't want this moment to end, he knew a new beautiful moment would start afterwards; he would wake up next to his boyfriend.

Suddenly staying on Jabberwock Island didn't sound so bad. Really, it was just fine with Hajime; he was looking forward to having so much time to love his boyfriend.


End file.
